drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
