I hate all girls vehemently.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
