did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
