At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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