glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
