wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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