thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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