when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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