Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
