Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize