Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Randomize
