i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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