Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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