The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
