I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
