I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
