i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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