If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize