We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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