he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
someone owes me an orgasm
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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