Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
