i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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