So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish I only lived at night.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
