You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
accomplished twins. life is a go
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
