I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
