Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
