FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
