Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My dick has a subreddit
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
