i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
