I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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