I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
