We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
