And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
