Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I puked a lego.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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