I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
