Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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