Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you win again, gameday.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize