they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
