My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
