So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
