it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
