i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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