I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize