I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
