I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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