I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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