there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
