Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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