She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
