This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
