Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
