you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i dont even know how to be here
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
