Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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