I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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