Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I could make wine with my vomit
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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