I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
