Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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