i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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