Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
