you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
