just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize