upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
