I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
