Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
operation have a gay friend backfired
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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