I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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