I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
