Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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