Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
