pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
