sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
