About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
