I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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