Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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