Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
