I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
