You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
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