idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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