My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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