Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
