Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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