areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize