so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Randomize
