My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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